i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
