He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
The Olympian is in my bed
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