he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
