I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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