I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
