you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
