Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
