You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Lo siento on account of my penis...
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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