On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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