Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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