Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
