it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
