I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize