Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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