Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
