The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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