I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
