Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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