If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize
