I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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