Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now