Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
I am invincible.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes