But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I have poison ivy on my dick
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.