Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
