Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
