Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
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