Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
That accounts for only three of the penises
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Randomize
