I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
