I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
