god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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