So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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