so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Randomize
