and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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