i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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