Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
