Barsexuality is the new black.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
