Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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