Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
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