Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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