So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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