Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
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