So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
honey bunches of taint.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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