Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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