glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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