I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize