He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
