Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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