I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I could fuck to npr.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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