wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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