Barsexuality is the new black.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I love you. Go after that dick
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
