'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
