I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
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