oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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