sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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