feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
