I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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