she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
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he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
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There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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